29 11 / 2013
my name is pronounced the same way. I really like it.
The Angel Card of the Week, Goddess Aine, Leap of Faith comes to us from Dr. Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Guidance Oracle Card Deck. According to Dr. Virtue, Goddess Aine, (pronounced ‘AWN-ya’) is a mythological Celtic Goddess and Fairy Queen, who is said to have birthed fairies with mortal men. She is associated with growing crops, overseeing animals, and giving guidance/courage to people who need to take risks. Anie is asking us to take a ‘Leap of Faith’ and STOP procrastinating!
“Take a risk, and put your heart’s true desire into action!”
Now is the time to take action with all of those plans that you have been keeping inside for so long. What are you waiting for? Act on them. Remove any fears you may have of failing, or of making the wrong decision. Make a decision. Allow yourself to trust that the Universe will support and guide you where you need to be. Virtue recommends going on a nature walk, meditating, or praying to aid in making a decision upon what your heart truly desires. Once making that decision, the Universe will provide for you! You will begin to see helpers come your way, sudden opportunities opening up for you, or even books that can help you along your journey. But none of this will happen if you do not take action steps and get started on fulfilling your dreams. Do not get overwhelmed. Breakdown your goals into smaller tasks to complete over a period of time. Be gentle and kind to yourself, but remain focused. Trust that the Universe and your angelic guides are there to assist you along the way. Your Angels and Heavenly Creator want you to succeed!
29 11 / 2013
Never would I have thought that broken china would resolve my issues, my anger, my conflict, my injury, my “brokenness,” if of course that’s even a word. So today there was China broken, and it got my anger out enough, with words from my mother that really just would have broken me in pieces… actually did break me to pieces. So I broke china, to pieces, I did what I was done to. I’m actually realizing as I write that if Ii do what I’m done to, I’m a really terrible person. I am terrified for life of surrounding myself with anyone. It’s anxiety that people have acted different when I had Cancer and was going through treatment, then right now. I can’t think about the bad… anymore, it’s all uphill from here because it could not possibly get lower.
So I’m going to restart my workout/ measurement/food journal, lose my weight… (cant workout my stomach because of cancer) and I will finish growing out my hair, and I will get over all of my anxieties I’ve kept dear for so long. I feel like my anxieties are my way of protecting myself from everyone and everything. That’s not going to be the case anymore. I’m going to do what I want to do, I’m going to say and dress the way I want to.
And the hardest thing about everything is i’m not going to tell people. I’m not going to inform anyone who doesn’t ask.
I’m exhausted and I will be better soon.
Monday is my pet-scan.. first one after 3 months of being without treatment.I’m going to pray to God that everything is okay, even though my liver’s been hurting lately but my bloodcounts for my liver and all other white blood, red, and hemoglobin were normal levels.. so I pray it’s just in my head. I had 4 beers like a week ago, and I doubt that my liver would hurt that much but then again, with being on meds for so long I could have had, that mayve the alcohol overdid it? I remember last Nov I got drunk once and the next day at work my stomach by my liver was hurting so bad it’s almost likeit’s pressed up on my ribcage. I was told it oculd be stress, and I haven’t been eating well and yah.. just stress.
I’ve reached my MAX, that’s why i’m ready to be free.
23 11 / 2013
"Give yourself permission to immediately walk away from anything that gives you bad vibes. There is no need to explain or make sense of it. Just trust what you feel."
23 11 / 2013
To all the girls afraid of going to the gym because they are self conscious: Go there and kick ass. You’re beautiful, be proud. Its your body, this is for you. Not for the people who are at the gym, not for anyone else, you. Focus on you. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks, YOU are making YOURSELF better and that sure as hell beats all the fuckers at home sitting on the couch.